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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Kenapa Aku Blogging? #2

   Sejak2 ni rasa cam x de mood pulak nak tulis something kat blog. Entah la rasa nya macam dah kering idea nak tulis apa. Kalau ada topik yang aku nak cakap pn sumenya pendek2, x macam dulu panjang giler(walaupun still panjang untuk standard blog budak sekolah). Rasa macam bosan pulak nak tulis pasal x tau kenapa. Mungkin sebab sekarang ni mindset aku dah lain kot. Kalau dulu mindset aku kinda rebellious tapi sekarang ni macam entah aku pn x tau. Jadi aku rasa kalau aku tulis sesuatu pn macam x penuh dengan perasaan kalau menulis.

    Ada jugak yang perasan sebenarnya. Sejak aku tulis pasal kapitalis, sejak tu a aku rajin menulis sesuatu kat blog yang selama ni berhabuk. At least setengah tahun baru update. Jadi sebenarnya ada a tu yang encourage aku untuk tulis something kat blog ni. Haih... cam biasa a, perempuan. Aku bet a jangan korang nak menggelabah depan aku perempuan ni x bawa makna kat hidup korang. Sekali kau ada kaitan dengan perempuan, maksud aku apa yang kau rasa dalam hati kau pasal perempuan ni nescaya kau akan berubah. Walaupun sikit. Serious aku x tipu. X kira a perubahan tu korang lalui masa korang tengah crush ke, kapel ke, ataupun lepas break. Mesti korang berubah punya.

   Yap. Pasal tu a team aku sumenya no woman no cry. Aku included, i mean, was, and will. Hahahaha... talk like keling right? Still remember those days, the day I'm still a sexist. Everything women did, wrong, and too manly for a women. Even women driving a car(well, they look kinda cute when drive a big car like American Muscle). Hahahahaha... but that changed after I met D. opsie, think I'm out of the yard. Ok2 back to the tajuk. After I post bout capitalism and quickly she give komen bout it, on fesbuk. ''Eeii, your blog cool la, lagi2 yang pasal pencemaran tu,'' Ok, then light seems to illuminate me to keep on blogging. Since then, I start to post something that is not my kind, love. Yes. She just resurrect the feeling that have been exiled from my world. 

   Since then the contents in my blog bercampur-baur dengan. Like rojak. I think I'm change. I just can't tell what. I don't know how to put it into words of how I changed, at least, I changed because of her. I don't know it's harmful for me, my buddys or her if I'm really changed. Ah... Ok, the only I can literary tell how change, I ain't mencarut2 like before, and don't main 'gua-lu-gua-lu' anymore. Haih... what I can tell you, I'd really love her. But I got nothing to proof for it's her that I'd die to defend. Like usual, I don't mengayat with girls because it's the way playboy and coward to pick up the girl. Real men would proof his love by action, not, ''You're the only one,''. It so manly if you see a man try with every molecules of his capabilities to protect the girl he loved. Guess I'm not manly enough to do so, but I'm proudly say that I'd try everything, I just don't mengayat though my buddys tells to do so. 

   What I can say right now, this blog 'exist' just to show her what I got in my mind. Nothing more actually. If I would, I'd make my blog as my diary. Lucky for you I have philosophy, never make your blog as your log. So you don't need to muntah2 baca my blog. Oh yeah, I'm considering to change my blog's name right now. I'm trying to not having the darkest hour right now. Hm... what to do huh? lepak with my buddys? my pocket kosong. Aiseymen! that's why I said, perempuan ni menyusahkan! Ok that was my old thought. Now not so, or so. Definitely not a good feeling when you trapped between Satan and Lucifer. But at least, it makes our life interesting ain't it? What's the meaning of living in dunya if everything is bed of roses? If you want everything poof! luck in your arms, better you ask God to put you in heaven sooner. Well baby, I ain't your charm prince, I got nothing to put me in your spotlight. I'm just a man who will keep on fighting till last blood, for the one I'd loved. 

   Then, this post is nothing. If you read it just leave it, meant nothing anyway.

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