Lepak2, hold your weapon. Aku bukan nak bajet kat sini. Dah aku lelaki. Jadi aku dipanggil 'der mann' a kalau orang German jumpa aku. Anyway, aku bukan apa. Cuma aku tersedar what is meant by beaing a man. At some point memang anugerah sebab dapat jadi lelaki. Tapi there's a price you have to pay, life. Yeah. Real Man's life is awful. But that's why being a man is cool anyway.
I started to give fuck bout what a man should be when I was in form 1. At that time I just posing around. I'm a douchebag. I just us the word 'man' to cover my shame. Yah. I'm sorry guys. I ain't the real man. But later I started to understand what a real man should be as I start having life problem. So here's the situation, Man and Women are the same. They're are human. The only thing that separate them is their hormone. That is scientist's anwser. But me, as someone who dedicated my schooling day finding the real meaning of real man started to understand what a 'real man' is really is.
Real man is... if you want to be a 'real man', better burn your bed of roses now. Real man doesn't need that shit. For me, real man is man who have been through rain and storm with courage whitout giving up. Ok I've wrote bout it you can find in my earlier post. But now, here is the question. Does real man must always have victory in his hand? I don't think so. Yeah. I have to admit that I never put 100/100 of my physical and mental to do something. I just acuh tak acuh doing it. I never do it with full comitment. I just do whatever I think fun. If that thing is fun, I'll do it. It is the testament that I haven't been separated from boy yet. But this year, I mean 2012, is really the most important year I've ever been through. It's the year when I have everything man wanted to have.
Ok. What I learn form 2012 is, real man is a man who'd will to go through rain and strom and make a path in a thick jungle to cath his dream. In additional, is a man who manage to maintain all his desire in his arms. Means real man only be tested when you, a man have everything you want in your hand. Friend, woman, money, brain, everything! Like me. 2012 I have everything. But I started to fail being a man when I dedicated my time and effort on Annisa. Yeah winning her heart is tiring anyway. I started to desocialized myself from my mate. I thought I have everything that they aint gonna leave me. But as usual. This is dunya', not jannah.
Anyway, I still have long way to go. I'm just 18. Still, I still have someone I love with me. It is just a test Allah give to me. Thank you Allah, making me a tougher man. Now I have to restart my life again. I will focus on the thing I need most first. This is my azam tahun baru: Never give up being a better man than before!
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